Study: All Of Your Memories Implanted In You 5 Minutes Ago When Universe Was Created

From The Onion:

WASHINGTON—Challenging years of research examining the cognitive and biological processes underlying human memory, a new study by researchers at Georgetown University has found that all experiences of the past stored in a person’s mind are in fact information artificially implanted five minutes ago when our universe was first created. “Previous studies suggest that human memories are created over time through the formation of neuronal connections enhanced and strengthened through meaningful association, but our research suggests that all of our perceptions of the past, including recollections of important life milestones and learned knowledge of events in human history, were in fact inserted into our brains at the universe’s moment of creation a little more than five minutes ago—five minutes and 13 seconds ago, to be exact,” lead researcher Dr. John Isherwood said of the study’s findings, which, like all cognitive research he and his team believed they had conducted in the past, was manufactured and implanted in his brain just over 300 seconds ago when the cosmos and all its contents—and, indeed, all of existence itself—first came into being. “In fact, everything we remember or know of the past—including loving memories of family and friends, families and friendships themselves, the assassination of John F. Kennedy, the Industrial Revolution, the Roman Empire, Stonehenge, the Cretaceous Era, the Big Bang—never happened at all, and are in fact artificial impressions of reality implanted into our minds by an unknown entity, or entities, shortly before I just now began presenting the results of this study.” Researchers added that they are confident the study’s findings will help shape prevailing scientific thought on cognitive and brain processes in the future until the end of the universe, which is projected to occur approximately three minutes from now.

Memories, Dreams, Reflections: A Rare Glimpse Inside Iconic Psychiatrist Carl Jung’s Mind

by Maria Popova

“…the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.”

In the spring of 1957, at the age of 84, legendary psychiatrist Carl Jung (July 26, 1875–June 6, 1961) set out to tell his life’s story. He embarked upon a series of conversations with his colleague and friend, Aniela Jaffe, which he used as the basis for the text. At times, so powerful was his drive for expression that he wrote entire chapters by hand. He continued to work on the manuscript until shortly before his death in 1961. The result was Memories, Dreams, Reflections — a fascinating peek behind the curtain of Jung’s mind, revealing a wonderland of wisdom, experience, and self-reflection.

Jaffe writes in the introduction in 1961:

    "The genesis of this book to some extent determined its contents. Conversation or spontaneous narration is inevitably casual, and the tone has carried over the entire ‘autobiography.’ The chapters are rapidly moving beams of light that only fleetingly illuminate the outward events of Jung’s life and work. In recompense, they transmit the atmosphere of his intellectual world and the experience of a man to whom the psyche was a profound reality.”

Jung’s reflections span everything from the minutia of working for a living to the grand truths of the human condition to the nature of the divine. This particular passage, from the closing of a chapter entitled “Life and Death,” struck me as a powerful lens on consciousness and what it means to be human:

    "Our age has shifted all emphasis to the here and now, and thus brought about a daemonization of man and his world. The phenomenon of dictators and all the misery they have wrought springs from the fact that man has been robbed of transcendence by the shortsightedness of the super-intellectuals. Like them, he has fallen a victim to unconsciousness. But man’s task is the exact opposite: to become conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious. Neither should he persist in his unconsciousness, nor remain identical with the unconscious elements of his being, thus evading his destiny, which is to create more and more consciousness. As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. It may even be assumed that just as the unconscious affects us, so the increase in our consciousness affects the unconscious.”

From http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/03/13/memories-dreams-reflections/